“You see ma’am, you’re 40, and at that age we need to do things a little differently!”
That was the doctor explaining to me that I needed medication to help shrink the alien monsters that have been growing in my body the past few years.
I was in full agreement with her theory but got stuck at the fact that someone just told me I was 40. When did I become 40? When did I go from being called miss to ma’am? In all fairness, she was reading my age off my chart, but in retrospect it would have been nice to have been told I didn’t look my age!
I spent many years being 25 since I refused, back then, to become 30. But when it was quite obvious that no-one thought I was really 25 anymore, I maintained the age of 30 for a good five years. The same was the case for my 35th mile marker, and when my eldest told me I didn’t look 40 at all, I quietly resolved to continue being 35 for at the very least, another 5 years.
Now, as I am forced to reevaluate my strategy, I have washed my hair and divided it into 2 ponytails – highly inappropriate for a 40 year old but I don’t care! Tonight I will revisit my youth as I stare in the mirror in search of the miss I once knew in hopes that the ma’am will take a brief leave of absence. I say brief because I remember all too well the distress I felt in my younger days as I tried to find my place in the world, to be accepted, to feel loved, to achieve my goals, just searching… But the person I am now has found peace, has purpose, is not afraid to be single and yet has found love that is the best of them all. I’ve stopped searching for acceptance, for meaning, for validity, since I have all those things now in the arms of Jesus.
So as I mourn the passing of my old life, I sheepishly accept the new one waiting ahead and am grateful to be blessed to see another day.
Image source: Google images (www.manbir-online.com)
Contents written: March 8, 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises