Losing my mind

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I locked my self out of my home on Friday.
I had to go to the mgmt office to get a key.
This is something I just never do.
I had my lunch bag but left my pocketbook.

This is frustrating.
I’ve been misplacing things a lot lately.
Many changes in my life
Have left me emotionally frayed.

The stress is taking a physical toll.
And now the mental effects are showing.
I feel Iike I’m losing my mind.
I’m scared!

This is not like me.
I’ve never been this physically shaken.
I’ve never been this mentally frayed.
I’m trying to find clarity.
I need to get over this but I just feel lost.

I’m not good at pretending.
I’m not good at faking happiness.
I can’t sell hopefulness in the face of doubt.
I’m not good at smiling through the pain.

I’m sorry if that doesn’t sit right with you.
I’m sorry I’m not my upbeat self.
I’m just struggling.
I’m not used to this uncertainty.

I’m just being real.
I’m just being myself.
I’m sorry if that’s not who you came to see.
But that’s all I know how to be.

I’m sorry…

 


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Image source: Google images
Contents compiled: December 18 2016
Originally published: December 18 2016
Copyright © 2016 Inner Ramblings Boulevard


2 thoughts on “Losing my mind”

  1. Thank you so much, for sharing your struggle. I felt that deep within, I have been like that and I, too, used to worry what others think. Today I am much more aware and notice my disoriented mind, at these times I try to remember to slow down, not just to make sure I have everything, but to notice everything around and within me. I also care much less about apologizing for being out of sorts. What others think of me is more a product of their distorted perception.

    Liked by 1 person

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