Freedom to be yourself

Tomorrow, if the good Lord allows my eyes to open to see another day, I will be celebrating another birthday – – the big 41!!

Source:http://www.couchavenue.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Birthday.jpg
Source:http://www.couchavenue.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Birthday.jpg

I’ve survived a lot to get here and I have much for which I’m thankful. I won’t bore you with those details for if you’ve been following for a while you already know my journey has been arduous. But on a lighter note I must admit that I’ve changed. How? Well the little dustings of silver that once sent me for the tweezers to Pluck away all evidence of aging, has now become little streaks of silver aka salt n pepper. I am now in the valley of decision as to whether I should start coloring my hair or if I should accept my new look and bravely age gracefully.

There is a librarian at our local branch whom I admire tremendously. Whenever I see her, her salt n pepper hair is always done up so nicely in one updo or another, her makeup is always impeccable but suitable and she’s always dressed fashionably appropriate for her slim-fit body. And of course, she’s always vibrant and smiling. She exudes confidence and is just a pleasure to observe — I want to be her! I want to be the woman who owns her self — is confident, is comfortable in her own skin, is vibrant, is cheerful, is 60, 70, 80 and a pleasure to be around!

So today, I’ve made myself a cake, I’ll spend a bit of time pampering my hands and feet with munchkin getting in on the action, and tomorrow back to work (unfortunately my birthday is not a national holiday… At least not yet… Up next a letter to the president on this very important matter lol) but I do resolve to accept the streaks that have come to usher me into a new era of my life and try my hand at aging gracefully. Wish me luck!

Now join in as I sing LOUDLY,
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to me.

 

Source:http://wp.me/p4EKCf-t0
Source:http://wp.me/p4EKCf-t0

Living free! – http://wp.me/p4EKCf-t0


Contents written: July 3 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises


 

How dare you ask me to choose?!! — Part 2: Letter to the Mayor

Source: Yahoo images
Source: Yahoo images

In How dare you ask me to choose??!! — Part 1, I discussed my confusion of having to choose the ethnicity of my daughter while registering her for Pre-K. I vowed to send a letter to the Mayor, which I did, and here’s what I wrote:

Dear Mayor De Blasio,

I sincerely appreciate all your efforts to effect change in New York City since your election to office. However, as I am new to the NYC School System via my daughter now being enrolled for Pre-K, I was dumb-founded when asked to only choose ONE option for her ethnicity (pre-k application questionnaire) when she is clearly a combination of two. The kind lady handling my application politely explained that the computer system will only accept one option so I must choose only ONE. She further explained that many other parents have also found this quite unsettling but are fully aware that it is not the fault of the school itself but the fault of an outdated system.

I found this to be very unfair and quite absurd since we are in 2015 and bi-racial families have existed for many, many years. Why has the school system that profiles our kids and ultimately the ethnic composition of the families in our city not yet been updated to reflect and accept such a vital aspect of the survey system?

Please Mayor, I humbly ask that this be addressed so parents are not put in the horrible position of choosing the ethnicity of their bi-racial child(ren). If not for that reason but also consider my request for the simple fact that the survey does not accurately depict the ethnic composition of the children comprising our NYC Schools.

Mayor, I do hope you are having a wonderful Summer so far and look forward to more wonderful changes for our beloved city in your mayoral days ahead.

Blessings to you and your lovely family.

Best wishes,

__________________

I see now that I should have sat on this letter a couple days before sending as there are a few changes I should have made, but alas, I was able to send this letter via an online portal, and received an automated response to my email address. However, I sit now with bated breath not sure if I will receive an actual response from the Mayor’s office.

Do you think the Mayor/mayor’s office will respond? What do you think he would say? What do you think he should say? Am I in over my head? Should I have curtailed my activism to the occasional call to 311 to report a malfunctioning crosswalk signal or the fire hydrant open to full blast running for days? Hmm, dunno, but this event really bothered me and I’m not sure I can rest if it’s not addressed. Oh well, we’ll see… stay tuned for Part 3!


Contents written: June 23 2015  |  Edited: June 26 & June 30 2015  |  Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises


#LoveWins

image

The problem with trying to contain love is it can’t be done. The more you push back on love the closer it will embrace you.

~ Bruce Maiuroo ~

The following post speaks volumes. Love really wins. Finding mutual love can be so elusive for many so to be denied the opportunity to love freely is sad and simply unfair. I applaud the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same sex marriage nationwide — it’s about time! Here’s to finding love — mutual love — true love!

JUST A QUICK BIT ON LOVE – http://wp.me/p2xz8I-xe

Contents written: June 27 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises

How dare you ask me to choose??!! — Part 1

Source: Yahoo images
Source: Yahoo images

Last week,  while registering my daughter for pre-k, one of the questionnaires tucked in with all the other registration paperwork, asked about her ethnicity. The usual options were given: Black, White, Hispanic, Asian etc. I selected the two that applied to her and continued to fill out the rest of the paperwork. When I took everything back to the desk for inspection before submitting into the system, the lovely lady doing my application quietly explained that I was only able to select just one option for ethnicity/race since their computer system will only accept one!

Huh?

I stood there dumb-founded, trying to make sense of what she had just said. I’m not the one to make a scene, as I am often asked to repeat myself since I speak so softly sometimes, so I politely asked, ” Why? Why in 2015, when bi-racial unions/ marriages etc have produced bi-racial children, have they not thought of updating such a critical facet to their survey system?”  Well, to be honest, I didn’t say it so eloquently but I do remember asking, “How can you ask me to choose?”

She agreed with me, then proceeded to explain that many other parents have asked the very same question, which makes me wonder what our new mayor Mr De Blasio puts on his application when filling out such questionnaires for his bi-racial, city-schooled kids? This is one of those issues that won’t be resolved by making waves at the school. After all, I’m new, and I’m sure there will be many battles to fight in the years ahead (Why do I have a 4 yr old at age 40 again? Oye!), but if change must come this issue needs to be handled at a city level, which is why I think a letter to our dear Mayor is in order. I am hoping that since he too is new, and in full swing of making and effecting huge changes to the way the city does things, then maybe, just maybe, my letter will be received with an open mind — especially since this matter speaks of his bi-racial family composition directly.

I’ve never written to a city official before, at least not outside signing petitions, completing census surveys or attaching my signature to a tax check destined for dear old Uncle Sam, so to be honest, I’m not sure what to say. But I feel this is a letter I must write and I hope the good Mayor sees it before his exit from office.

Ultimately, I had to choose an option, as I was in a rush, had no desire to argue and knew fully well fussing wouldn’t make much difference. I chose the most logical option and these are the factors that attributed to my final selection:

  • My daughter lives with me since her dad and I are separated and heading for divorce. So eventually I will have sole custody and I will make all decisions for her well being, which I already do anyways.
  • Even if she has her dad’s complexion and would more easily be associated with his racial status, I make an effort to expose her to many different cultures and ways of thinking so ultimately whether I choose one or the other I hope to incorporate as much of his ethnicity into her life as I can so she knows and appreciates her ethnic origins — I love diversity and wouldn’t want to rob her of that!
  • Spite. Why should I choose his ethnicity when I’m the one raising her ALL BY MYSELF!!! (Not the best of reasons but, hey, I’m human and have lots to be angry about when it comes to him).

So there, unsettling as all this was, I finally chose my ethnicity and the kind lady at the desk agreed (like she even had a choice… lol). Now off to work on my letter to Mayor De Blasio. Wish me luck ! ^_^


Written: June 22 2015  |  Edited: June 26 2015  |  Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises


Dear Dad,

Yahoo images
Yahoo images

I’ve got your ears;
Your soft voice;
Your flat feet;
Your complexion;
Your nose;
Your thick hair;
Your sense of humor;
Your laugh;
Your love of telling life stories;
Your eternal optimism;
Your love of being in business;
Your need to not be confrontational;
Your desire to live and let live.

All these things I am because of you.
And though you have now been gone from us 2 years,
These attributes and the memories we created as a family
Will live on in us,  Your offspring.

Happy Father’s Day Dad!
Rest In peace…


Contents written: June 21 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises


Shoulders

There are days when my own words fail me, when my mind wanders aimlessly incapable of concentration, when my every thought is hijacked by something /someone else. These are the days I rely on the words of others to say so eloquently what I cannot at the moment.

The following words speak what my soul yearns to say but could not and have since brought much solace to calm my spirit. May they bring such peace to you as well. Enjoy!


When confusion’s my companion
And despair holds me for ransom
I will feel no fear
I know that You are near

When I’m caught deep in the valley
With chaos for my company
I’ll find my comfort here
‘Cause I know that You are near

My help comes from You
You’re right here, pulling me through
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders

My help comes from You
You are my rest, my rescue
I don’t have to see to believe that You’re lifting me up on Your shoulders

You mend what once was shattered
And You turn my tears to laughter
Your forgiveness is my fortress
Oh Your mercy is relentless

My help comes from You
You’re right here, pulling me through
You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders

My help comes from You
You are my rest, my rescue
I don’t have to see to believe that You’re lifting me up on Your shoulders

~ For King and Country ~


Contents compiled June 12 2015  |  Edited: June 13 2015  |  Copyright 2015  Moylom Enterprises


Are You Emotionally Intelligent? Here’s How To Know For Sure – Forbes

When emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding: people with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70% of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the sole source of success.

Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so strong that 90% of top performers have high emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results.

Despite the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know how much you have and what you can do to improve if you’re lacking. You can always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with the Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book.

Unfortunately, quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests aren’t free. So, I’ve analyzed the data from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. What follows are sure signs that you have a high EQ.

You Have A Robust Emotional Vocabulary

All people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36% of people can do this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden” or “anxious.” The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.

You’re Curious About People

It doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity you’re going to have about them.

You Embrace Change

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur.

You Know Your Strengths And Weaknesses

Emotionally intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed.

Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and you know how to lean into them and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from holding you back.

Much of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness; the ability to read other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they’re going through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character.

People are no mystery to you. You know what they’re all about and understand their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.

You Are Difficult To Offend

If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you because you are able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.

You Know How To Say No (To Yourself And Others)

Emotional intelligence means knowing how to exert self-control. You delay gratification, and you avoid impulsive action. Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression.

Saying no is indeed a major self-control challenge for many people. “No” is a powerful word that you should not be afraid to wield. When it’s time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.” Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.

You Let Go Of Mistakes

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success.

It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall down.

You Give And Expect Nothing In Return

When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example, you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the book in hand. Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others.

You Don’t Hold Grudges

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time.

In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.

Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.

You Don’t Seek Perfection

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.

You Appreciate What You Have

Taking time to contemplate what you’re grateful for isn’t merely the right thing to do; it also improves your mood because it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%. Research conducted at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude experienced improved mood, energy, and physical well-being. It’s likely that lower levels of cortisol played a major role in this.

You Disconnect

Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors. Forcing yourself offline and even—gulp!—turning off your phone gives your body and mind a break.

Studies have shown that something as simple as an e-mail break can lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an e-mail that will change your train of thought and get you thinking (read: stressing) about work can drop onto your phone at any moment.

You Limit Your Caffeine Intake

Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, and adrenaline is the source of the fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re responding to a curt e-mail. When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior. Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.

You Get Enough Sleep

It’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert and clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. So, they make sleep a top priority.

You Stop Negative Self-Talk in Its Tracks

The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural tendency to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an event). Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.

You Won’t Let Anyone Limit Your Joy

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.

Note:

Travis Bradberry is the author of the above Forbes article. He co-wrote the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and co-founded TalentSmart, the world’s #1 provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving 75% of Fortune 500 Companies.

Read more: http://www.forbes.com/sites/travisbradberry/2015/06/02/are-you-emotionally-intelligent-heres-how-to-know-for-sure/


Contents compiled: June 13 2015  |  Copyright 2015 Moylom  Enterprises


I Wish I Knew How To Miss You

Mom,
There are days when I want to call and tell you I miss you, especially on the days when I long to have a mother’s hug  telling me everything will be alright. But if I called and said, “I miss you” we both know that would be a lie. I know that I love you because you are my mother — before my birth you could have ended my life but instead, you brought me into the world, cared for me, taught me how to be independent and how to survive. For this I am grateful and will always love you.

But as I grew, it was painfully obvious that we saw the world very differently and this affected our relationship significantly which fueled my need to separate myself from you for the sake of my sanity. I do not cast blame because I understand you have a right to your views for they were/are based on your upbringing, but I too have a right to my views and choose to associate with those of like mind so I can feel that my voice is being heard.

The tension I feel in your presence fuels my need to escape the mental torment so even though I long for my mother, you are not the mother with whom I can be my true self.

We communicate well now because distance separates us. Conversations go unspoken — buried — for fear such utterings would cause an eruption of ill feelings, resentment, sadness, inadequacy, regret, longing, loss… You gave up a career to be a mother, but there were times you made us to feel guilty for your choices. That’s so unfair! What an awful burden to place on a child.

Your standards of perfection were set so high, only you could meet them. But still I toiled to earn your admiration and only got your criticisms instead. My best was never good enough but still I tried.

At 19 I left home to make my own way in the world, finally free to be me. But my need for approval was still there, instead however, I sought it from others. I never found it in my personal relationships, but instead from my work. And so it seems I am incapable of bonding with anyone for I too now have your ridiculously high standards hammered into my brain. Oh the irony!

So here I sit, in the middle of the rubble of my life longing for my mom to put her arms around me and comfort me but I can’t communicate that to you for it would be a lie. It seems that I miss the idea of what you are supposed to be, but in actuality I don’t know how to miss the real you.

Written January 8 2015 | Edited June 10 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises

Good vs Evil

Source: Yahoo images (barbieleebuckley.blogspot.com)
Source: Yahoo images (barbieleebuckley.blogspot.com)

Even in sadness

one can find a glimmer of goodness

— of hope —

of greater purpose!

The world certainly seems broken

more and more everyday,

but if we succumb

to this feeling of loss and hopelessness

then sadly, evil wins.

So, yes we grieve today,

then we rise up and overcome tomorrow

for in so doing

Good prevails EVERY TIME !

~ Moylom Enterprises May 8 2015 ~


Contents written: May 8 2015 | Edited: May 19 & 22 2015 | Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises

How to find Validation in the unlikeliest of places

Source: Yahoo images (jesuspaez74.wordpress.com)
Source: Yahoo images (jesuspaez74.wordpress.com)

We all want to matter!
We all want to know that someone cares.
We all want to know that our efforts are not in vane.

It hurts when you are just an after thought,
Even when all you do is care for others!

How can this be?
How can the ones you care for be so cruel?
How can the ones you place ahead of yourself not return that same amount of consideration?

It’s a tough pill to swallow, I know, but there it is, plain as day — you don’t matter as much as you thought you did (shrug).
Oh, but you DO!

See, it’s not that you don’t matter, it’s just that those who have come to rely on you so diligently, always expect you to be there, rain or shine, no matter what. Life with you there seems so automatic, so right, so easy, that they’ve just come to expect your presence as normal. But, the minute you change the routine, and stop being so present, so available, so accessible, it is without a doubt that your dependents will take notice.

The following are a few easy tips and tricks to boost your importance to the ones who matter: kids, spouse, boss, colleagues, friends and even clients.

Take some time off

Not only will this time away help recharge your batteries and renew focus when you return, but it will also give your dependents a chance to miss you. Nothing screams I MISS YOU more than when the ones who rely on you everyday to ensure smooth sailing on the open seas, feel absolutely lost without you.

Your time away can take any form you want, the following are just a few examples to get you started:

An evening out:

If you’re a single parent this can be especially beneficial since you don’t really get much time off. You are the soul bread-winner and must also be both parents in one. Finances might also be limited, so this may not be a splurge you can afford often but for the sake of self-preservation it can be definitely worth it. Have a sitter come over while you go out and really try to enjoy your time away guilt-free. The kids can survive one evening without you, promise! If you are part of a couple, then the other parent can certainly be trusted to handle the kids solo for one evening. Even if you are just a couple without kids but feel you need time apart and you can benefit from an evening out, then by all means do it. You’ll be so happy you did!

A day off:

If an evening out is not what you had in mind, perhaps because it doesn’t seem to be enough time to really unwind, then a day off might better suit your needs. Schedule it well in advance so you have time to include all the things you want to do, and for goodness sake please don’t spend this day off running errands! The purpose of the exercise is to unwind, so please do something fun or relaxing, okay?

Vacation:

If a night out or day off sound great but what you really want is to get away completely then a vacation is more your cup of tea. The amount of time away is entirely up to you, but do stay within budget and do have fun. Sometimes a change in scenery is just what you need to put things in perspective upon your return so relish this time away — you deserve it!

Stay-cation:

If you would love a week or two off but your budget won’t allow you to leave the state or country, then a stay-cation it is! If you have kids then sending them off to the grandparents, or to camp for the duration of your stay-cation would be ideal. If those options aren’t viable and you would prefer to leave just to escape the house for a few days, then you can go to a local Bed and Breakfast for a long weekend while the kids stay with the second parent, friend, grandparent etc. If no kids, and you are quite comfortable relaxing at home and doing tourist-like activities for a few days then that’s fine too. Whatever your choosing, the goal is to separate yourself from your surroundings or from the ones who rely on you daily and just relax. The trick though (for all the examples mentioned), is to not stay away too long, since inevitably they (your dependents) will learn how to do things without you — it’s just human nature to adapt.

Time alone

During your time off (described above), whether it be a fun vacation, stay-cation or if it’s just a day away from the kids, try to spend a few hours absolutely alone. This quiet time will allow you to find your center — the place deep inside that speaks to you! What is it saying? Do you need more sleep? Have you been wanting to read a good book? Are you still interested in seeing that movie or play? Are you long overdue for a bit of pampering? Or are you in need of a bit of spiritual renewal — some alone time with God? Just be still and listen. What ever your need, it will reveal itself so you may act upon it. It may even be wise to schedule a Time Alone day off to help you plan your ideal vacation.
The trick is to plan your alone time wisely. Don’t spend so much time in the thinking phase that there isn’t enough time left to actually do what you’ve decided. The last thing you need is to feel rushed since the purpose of this exercise it to de-stress and recharge. If you need a day to think/plan, that’s fine, as long as you implement the plans you took such valuable time to create.

Treat yourself

This can be incorporated  into your time off  (vacation, stay-cation, evening out or  day off).This activity should involve something you haven’t done in a long time or have never done but always wanted to do. It can be anything but here are a few suggestions:Visit a dear friend; go on an outing; have a picnic; see a play; enjoy some wine (if it’s not something you get to do); pick/buy yourself flowers; have a manicure-pedicure, facial, massage, hair cut, gourmet chocolate or whatever treats that excite you – – Anything you haven’t done in a long time that would make you feel special! Something that is sure to put a smile on your face. The trick is to be mindful of your budget. Don’t spend money on something extravagant that would put you in enormous debt. This will only bring additional stress down the road. Be wise, be frugal, be creative, and think outside the box!

Accept compliments gracefully

Now that you’ve rested, done something fun and have a smiling glow on your face, your entire aura just beams! You are bound to receive a compliment or two and you need to be prepared. Have you ever been given a compliment and you just shrug it off with a dismissive response like, “Oh, no, little old me?” or “Oh stop, you’re just saying that to be nice!”
Are you the type that can’t even recognize a compliment when given one because you’re surrounded by ‘takers’ and no/hardly any givers of compliments? Well it’s time to take yourself out of that environment for a while just to regroup. Spend some time in the company of those who care for you and are genuinely interested in your well being (especially if you haven’t seen them in a while ). They will be excited to hear of your alone time and fun activities and most importantly, will be lavishing you with compliments. Accept them, soak them up, be graceful, be appreciative, be humble. This will not only boost your spirit but allow you to feel cared for, which I’m sure would be a nice change of pace. The trick is to not get caught by someone who gives a compliment just before bombarding you with criticism. Even though constructive criticism is good, for the purpose of this exercise such an person should be avoided.

Make a list of your accomplishments

You’ve set goals all your life (I hope) . If you were to make a list of all your accomplishments to date what would that list look like? Even those things you never set out to accomplish but achieved anyway, yep, those too!
Now that it’s written in black and white, how do you feel? I’m sure it’s a pretty awesome list! Now reach round and give yourself a huge pat on the back, yes you’re pretty AMAZING if you say so yourself!
The trick is to not get too swell-headed – – No one likes an obnoxious braggart. The purpose of this exercise is to lift your spirits and establish self-worth, not turn you into a narcissist, self-centered, know-it-all!! ^_^ (just kidding)

What are people saying about you ?

Companies do customer surveys and employee evaluations all the time to gauge their success. But as an individual how do you get such feedback to see how much you are valued, appreciated or loved?

A girl told a story once, about going home, hiding in a closet, waiting for her boyfriend to get home, then staying there for a long time to see how long it took him to inquire of her whereabouts to family and friends. She needed to know how much he cared!

Yikes!! That was an extreme, somewhat bizarre scenario, but there are more subtle ways to get feedback that won’t freak people out!

Family members don’t always tell you directly how much they cherish you, but they may tell someone else in the family and that someone may tell someone else. What is the grapevine saying? What little notes do loved ones write in your birthday cards? (If you save such things perhaps it’s time to retrieve them). If someone were to write your eulogy what would they say? (A little morbid, yes, but you get the point).If you have a blog, what would your audience say about your little time off or treats to yourself? Do you surround yourself with positive, encouraging people? (If you don’t it’s probably time to re-evaluate your friends).

These are just a few ideas to get the ball rolling on this very important exercise in finding validation. You may be inspired to try other methods of your own. If so, please feel free to share your findings, it would be a pleasure to hear from you. In the mean time, enjoy the journey! ^_^

Source: yahoo images (jesuspaez74.wordpress.com)
Source: yahoo images (jesuspaez74.wordpress.com)

This post was inspired by a fellow blogger and friend Marisa (https://mrsmariposa2014.wordpress.com/). Thanks for always being a source of encouragement and a woman of Christ as we journey along in this crazy life we’ve been given. Hugs!!


Contents written: April 18 2015  |  Edited: May 18 2015  |  Copyright 2015 Moylom Enterprises


Step into our twisty road of passion and feel the magic.